Du-bae: "Being tall is a bonus - not a deal breaker"

Our oversharing, anonymous dating columnists - one guy and one girl - will be taking it in turns every week to detail their romantic escapades. This week, our girl gives herself a bit of a talking to...
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Du-bae: "Being tall is a bonus - not a deal breaker"

I have a confession. When I date a guy who isn’t a couple of inches over 6ft, I just don’t see it going anywhere. It’s shallow and superficial and I can’t help it, okay? I’m sorry.

I think it’s because I’m 5ft 9 and a half inches without shoes on, which means I shy away from heels and don’t exactly feel petite and feminine when I’m tottering about in my, erm, Stan Smiths.

I recently went for drinks with a guy I met at Mr Miyagi's (where all great stories start). He towered over me at 6ft 7 and I made a mental note to allow him a couple more strikes than I would for someone an inch or two shorter. Awful, I know. As the date progressed, I realised I definitely found him physically attractive but we just didn’t vibe. Our personalities didn’t click, I rapidly lost count of all the strikes, and to top it all off, he was pretty brutal about the Brits ("The French invented cool, don’t you know?" he told me, straight-faced.) Despite all that, I found myself still wanting to see him again because he was so gloriously tall, and later it got me thinking... am I interested purely because he’s a giant? Would I want to see him again if he was shorter? TBH, no.

I get upset when guys dismiss me for my physical appearance, so why do I act like it’s okay to do it to them? I imagine there have been so many missed opportunities with men I probably have a lot more in common with than the no-personality trees that I’ve endured, but I’ve shunned them because I can’t easily spot them in a crowd. Madness. 

Throwing it back to evolution, a taller man would of course ideally be deemed stronger and more masculine; someone who would be able to shelter and protect his family and pass on strong genes to his children. But it's 2018 huns, and we can now date shorter men we actually like without fear of eventually finding ourselves homeless. Shocking, I know.

I’ve also learned the following from going out with tall men: as you are quite literally looking up to them, they tend to feel they have superior qualities (think arrogance and self-importance) over both you and their mates alike.

To conclude, I need to change my attitude. Being tall is a bonus, not a deal breaker. Personality and values are so much more important to me at this stage in my life. Work ethic, ambition and kindness? I'll swap long legs for those any day.

Photos: Instagram @godsownjunkyard