Du-bae: The "right guy-wrong time" debate

Our oversharing, anonymous dating columnists - one guy and one girl - take it in turns to detail their romantic escapades. This week, our girl discusses the struggle of meeting a person who would be perfect, except it’s just not a good time...
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Du-bae: The "right guy-wrong time" debate

Not so long ago, I met a guy during a night out in the city (yes, I am aware most columns begin this way).

Anyway, being in his company felt instantly easy. I felt we had a connection. We began regularly chatting without it feeling like an effort and the only explanation I had for this was that he was obviously my soulmate.

It was all ticking along nicely, and then bam! Something happened outside my control to shatter my dreams about this perfect person. He got offered a job in Hong Kong. He'd be living in a time zone four hours ahead of Dubai, and a seven hour flight away. Great. Just great.

“Right person. Just the wrong time,” my friend concluded when I broke the news to her. Initially, I agreed, mourning the situation and exclaiming, “If only we’d met in the future!” But later, the sentence stuck with me, and the more I thought about it, the more I realised there’s no such thing.

Yes, context has to be considered. If it wasn’t for the move, perhaps we would be together, but the thing is, while context is important, it’s mostly our mindset that matters. When you meet the actual right person, it will be obvious, and you’ll be together without using an excuse to pack it in. Saying that the timing is wrong is saying nothing more than, "you aren’t worth any inconvenience."  Basically, it’s nothing to do with time. It’s us. We decide.

And so, rather than make said excuses, I decided to see his relocation as an opportunity. I’ve never been to Hong Kong, and have always wanted to visit. We don’t really know eachother at all, but it feels right to go and reunite (I must add that a friend has just moved there, so if it goes horribly wrong, I do have a back-up plan).

And so, we shall see after this trip if we are right for eachother. Either that, or I will have learned that he's not the right person at the wrong time, he's actually just the wrong person. As when the right person comes into your life, it will always be the right time, because the right people are timeless.

Photos: Getty Images and Instagram @hear.her.story